Drunk Gorillas of Virunga

Less Gorillas in the Mist and more "gorillas getting pissed."

Mountain gorilla after a few too many bamboo shots.Image: Andy Rouse / Daily Mail
This mountain gorilla has been drinking alcoholic sap fermented in bamboo shoots in the highlands of Rwanda. The next day the nature photographer, Andy Rouse, noticed that the gorillas were a bit worse for wear.

When I went back the next day, it was all very quiet, as if they were nursing
gorilla-sized hangovers.

For additional photos see the UK Daily Mail.

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Battlestar Galactica Meets with UN

President Roslyn and Admiral Adama with cast of Battlestar.
Image: SciFi.com
As the popular show on SciFi heads towards its final episode Friday, President Laura Roslyn and Admiral William Adama met with a panel of United Nations officials last night (this is true) for a discussion of humanitarian issues.

This comes not a moment too soon. It's about time the United Nations embraced some new ideas that can overcome the permanent state of negotiation and lack of regulatory teeth in their General Assembly and Security Council Resolutions.

I don't know what issues were under discussion, but I can only imagine the topics included something like the following:

*Using FTL drives to transport emergency supplies into Darfur region despite President al-Bashir's decision to expel all relief workers.

*How Kamala Extract induced visions can be useful for predicting future crises and might also be fun at state dinners.

*Suggesting "cylon goo" as a means for the United States to repair its estimated $2.2 trillion in ailing infrastructure.

*How Israelis and Palestinians can be induced to get along by eliminating their "Resurrection Ship" that makes both think they can live forever.

*Encouraging embattled world leaders to adopt Admiral Adama's approach of binge drinking during times of crisis. Proven useful for overcoming such difficulties as: working with sworn enemies, handling the deterioration of your only means of defense, overcoming the death of a loved one, or just to let people know that you're really sad despite your permanently stern demeanor. The Japanese Finance Minister and French President have already led the way (not to mention the famous boozer Richard Nixon).

*How it's about time to tell the distinguished delegate from the great country of North Korea to go frak himself.

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Some Messed Up Monkeys*

"Dance, Monkeys, Dance"
ErnestCline.com
Ernest Cline, director of the recent film Fanboys, has this hilarious spoken word piece that pretty sums up my philosophy perfectly. It's put to music by The Penguin Cafe Orchestra and is accompanied by an 80's style film strip which only adds to the fun.

For more of his great work (including spoken word, info on his films and his blog) click here.

*Obligatory note: Humans are not monkeys. We're apes along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, orangutans and gibbons. In general, monkeys have tails whereas apes do not. But I agree that the word monkey is much funnier.

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The Gift of Security

Reenact racial profiling this holiday season.
This July I flew from Seattle to Vienna to present a paper at the VISU History and Philosophy of Science symposium. I was wearing the T-shirt I always wear while traveling, which says "We Will Not Be Silent" in both English and Arabic (the same one that blogger Raed Jarrar wore that got him harrassed by security and resulted in a $240,000 discrimination settlement). As I was boarding the plane I was pulled out of line by a team of five TSA agents, one of whom grabbed my crotch before patting down my arms and legs. I asked repeatedly why I was being searched, but they remained mute as they manhandled me. So you can imagine how pleased I was to find this actual toy currently on sale through Amazon.com.

For only $62.00 your child can be the first on their block to own the Playmobil Security Checkpoint. The set comes complete with metal detector, X-ray machine and hand-wand for added security. Apparently the selling point is that while other kids are getting yet another Bratz knock-off, your child can experience all the stress and exhaustion of waiting in line while an overworked TSA officer ransacks their luggage (also included).

But perhaps the best part are these actual customer reviews:

I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed.

The best thing about this product is that it teaches kids about the realities of living in a high-surveillence society. My son said he wants the Playmobil Neighborhood Surveillence System set for Christmas.

Thank you Playmobil for allowing me to teach my 5-year old the importance of recognizing what a failing bureaucracy in a ever growing fascist state looks like. Sometimes it's a hard lesson for kids to learn because not all pigs carry billy clubs and wear body armor.

When we first set it up we tried it with my daughters African American Magic Jewel Ken Doll and Barbie Princess of the Nile Doll but they were pulled out of line before the security checkpoint and taken to a back room for "processing."

Not complete without the Playmobil Police Checkpoint ($99.99) or the Playmobil Police Station ($47.99) complete with jail! Yes, they're real. This is the world we live in.

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Star Wars Coming to America

May the farce be with you.



Here is a hilarious reedit of Star Wars with Coming to America (both of which James Earl Jones starred in). Happy Monday.

Linked from Break

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The Amazing Threat Alert Jesus

Your Sunday Skepticomic from ThreatAlertJesus.com



To view last Sunday's comic click here.

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It's All in the Method

Your Sunday Skepticomic from John Trever.



To view last Sunday's comic click here.

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How Secularization is Destroying America

Your Sunday Skepticomic from Russell's Teapot.



To view last Sunday's comic click here.

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Religion Masquerading as Science

Your Sunday Skepticomic from Cox and Forkum



To view last Sunday's comic click here.

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Primate in Chief

Your Sunday Skepticomic (artist unknown) with no offense meant towards other primates.



To view last Sunday's comic click here.

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Perfect Happiness

Your Sunday Skepticomic from Russell's Teapot.



To view last Sunday's comic click here.

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Situational Science Man

Your Sunday Skepticomic from Doonesbury.

(click image to enlarge)


To view last Sunday's comic click here.

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Richard Dawkins: Tribulation Force

Your Sunday Skepticomic from Slime Culture TV

For more of Dawkins' force for reason see this post on religious belief and evil deeds.

(click image to enlarge)

To view last week's comic click here.

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The Pro-Life Party

Your Sunday Skepticomic from Jim Morin



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Religion of Peace Death Match

Your Sunday Skepticomic from Joe Heller.



To view last week's comic click here.

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Science vs. Norse Mythology

Your Sunday Skepticomic from The Pain - When Will It End?

Click image for a larger view


To view last week's comic click here.

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Religion and Politics on Planet Glox

Your Sunday Skepticomic from This Modern World



To view last week's comic click here.

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Unintelligent Designs

Your Sunday Skepticomic from David Horsey.


To view last Sunday's comic click here or search the web for skepticomic, coined first right here.

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The Primate Diaries on Facebook

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What George Lucas originally envisioned for Star Wars.

You're the reason I keep writing so I want to hear from you. If you prefer Myspace (and choose to work for the Dark Lord Rupert Murdoch) then you can join us there too. Just click one of the images below and you're on your way.

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Why People Are Good

Your Sunday Skepticomic from Jesus and Mo.



To view last Sunday's comic click here.

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